Late night producitve alcoholism

I feel like this is a constant state of my being. On weekends, alcohol and coffee during late night. It's not particularly healthy, but it bumps my productivity by at least 300%. Epically after I transitioned from a startup to working in big tech. Big tech job is boring AF, but it pays well that I can peruse projects that makes real social impact. Vodka is my fuel to "fuck it" and write code that powers that impact.

Admittedly I'm using alcohol as an means to an end.

There's just too much to be worked on while too little FOSS developers and time. And I don't mean the "nice to have" stuff like mainline kernel support for ARM SBCs, though that's important for many rations. But more serious issues like LLM taking too much power, internet surveillance, centralization of services, vulnerable IoT devices, disinformation, etc.. Each of them being a hard problem to solve in the own field.

As much as I want to help solve every problem we, humanity, face. I just can't. I mean that by, I have the ablity to make solutions for lost of problems. But I don't have the time to do that. Not even half-ass baked ones. That's not even considering I have a day job and side project that doesn't make sense to open source (trust me, I open source 99% of my stuff, if I say it doesn't make sense, it doesn't. But it is a net benefit for humanity).

Sometimes that on it's own is depressing enough. Sometimes I really want to just numb myself and feel absolutely nothing.

Day job is busy. I know I am doing good, meaningful work.

But I still wish at times I could devote more time solving more difficult problems. Problems sucks. And I hated them for existing. Maybe this is what the rich people does when they donate millions to foundations. Just maybe because they know their time is valuable. For every problem they see. It's more efficient for them to earn the money themselves and pay a 3rd party to solve it for them.

Obviously I am drunk now. Too many problems too little time. And maybe this is the feeling of burnout. We'll see.